GRRRL Music: Hi Nick! How are you doing and where am I chatting with you from today?!

Medium Build: MB: Hey! I am doing well and I am actually on my way to Indio for Coachella as we speak! A bit silly & bougie of me! I got a pass and am just going to be a little person there!

GM: SO fun! In the midst of the Coachella chaos, congratulations on your recent success, your album ‘Country’ is finally out! How does it feel for this highly anticipated record to be released ?

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MB: I am SO relieved, I am so glad it is out. I really like making music but the finishing of it & having to decided what everything looks and feels like … it’s just not the sh*t I thought about as a kid and when I was dreaming about all of this. I just wanted to write it, record, and play it you know? So now that its out, I don't have to look at the Dropbox link & freak out! Now I can just have it out and everyone can now let me know what they think & I can finally start working on some new sh*t. Its like its taking a very good piss haha! I can breathe again and I can think. It’s like when you eat when you are hungry. When you have that thing you have not put out yet, and everyone is waiting for it …it drives you nuts … But I feel free!

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GM: You have supported artists such as Holly Humberstone, Lewis Capaldi, Finneas, Tyler Childers… how does it feel going from being an independent artist and now playing for thousands of people in these arenas ?

 

MB: It's just a good reminder that shows are just shows. I went and played that Finneas show for like maybe a 1,000 to 1,500 people. Then went and played the usual Alasksian summer gig a couple weeks later and had the same feeling of, “I hope these people like it”. I just try to show up and remember that playing a bar in Alaska is really where I cut my teeth and I can do that even when it’s an arena in London. It’s like, the same sh*t. Just try to be present and have fun. It's terrifying though.

GM: Do you have any pre show rituals? What does it feel like before you hit the stage?

MB: We try to clear the room half an hour before the show, just keep the band. We kind of just like to sing, warm up, and listen to vibey sh*t. My bass player and I will usually rip a bunch of pushups and stretch. We are always in down-ward dog, trying to get that tight sh*t out so we can just got out and be present.

GM: In the making of this last record “Country”, you mentioned recently this was something you want people to dance to, cry to, sing to. The whole record encompasses this so well. From grief, love, heartache, life in general… who would you say you create your music for? What kind of listeners are you hoping to get ahold of your music and hope to speak to?

MB: Hmm.. Well truly the first person I make it for would be, me. Usually I am trying to put on something that I would feel soothed to, which is why my music may be sleepier than my personality because it is something I want to use to calm down to.

Im kind of this “up” and animated person, so I try to make chiller sh*t to to slow down. I am so stoked that anybody is listening to it. I don't really think about who it is for, but more so hope it links people together. I like to dance,I like to cry, I like to vibe, I like to sway. So, I am hoping it potentially attracts like kinds. You know? Let’s vibe.

 

​GM: So, who did you grow up listening to being apart of the Alaska music scene?

MB: I moved to Alaska when I was 18. I grew up in Atlanta. Both my parents are transplants. My mom is from St. Louis, Dad is from rural South Carolina. We would listen to whatever was on the radio and mainly a lot of christian sh*t. Oldies, like Mo Town, Temptations, and my dad loves The Rolling Stones, and classic dad rock. We listened to a lot of Billy Joel, The Eagles…just sorta palatable mid tempo sh*t. Then when I was a kid, I just wanted to be NSYNC.. so it was a lot of influences haha. I think that is why I want to be everything - I want to make pop music, introspective shit my mom would like, and rock shit my dad would like.

GM: I cannot wait for an all pop record from you, I feel like that would be so fun.

MB: Me too, Me too!

GM: Can we talk about your creative process? What does a writing or studio session look like? How did you pick the layout of tracks for ‘Country’ ?

MB: I am really not that intentional. I write a lot, and we kind of had 20 to 30 tunes we kind of liked. Maybe went to the studio with a couple and then 10 of them ended up going away, then 5 new ones got written. So, whenever I try to make a plan, it usually does not roll out.

But usually.. I do like collaborating. I used to write alone mostly and this was the first time I did a lot of collaborating in the two years leading up to ‘Country’. I think this has influenced some of the growth for me. Having people around helps take less pressure on and sort of give chores away. Honestly, now that I have done this era, I am ready to be alone again. Let’s just cook alone. I can be friendly and collaborate and I did not mind it, but now that I have done it.. I just need Jake and I away in the woods with no other ideas. I'm a people pleaser so I will usually give away too much haha.

GM: I want to talk about your track ‘In My Room’. What was it like creating this? Did you find it healing for that smaller, younger, queer child in you?

MB: Yes. I just think those kinds of songs are my favorite ones where I can kind of go back and fetch some memory that has some pain attached to it…I can just sort of be present in it. I have a song from like 3 albums ago called, ‘little chubby boy’, which is just a letter to my 12 year old self, saying “hey you are going to lose weight, it will be fine, people will like you, but all of that actually doesn’t matter. All of the things you want right now, you will get, and it won’t make you happy.

You just have to try hard and be present. I am just trying to give that kid some grace and wisdom, and say “hey girly! You are going to get some things that you think are going to really help and then you will be sad again. Things just f*cking happen and you seem so confused and hurt right now, but trust me. It gets worse, but also somehow better.” It’s just me trying to forgive myself and forgive my parents. Be gentle, and try to figure out some of the bad habits I have now.

GM: I love how you say “yes it gets worse, but bigger picture is does get better”. Thank you for sharing that.

GM: I read that you now have a good connection with your family. How do you feel about your personal relationship with queerness and christianity in general? For queer listeners & for people in general who are struggling in this area of acceptance within family and friendships..Can you offer any advice that helped you in your coming out process and acceptance?

MB: I think the biggest thing for me is that I have very decent parents who try to understand me and it was a very long coming out process. I told them when I was 18 or 19 how I was experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Then at 19, I told them I don't think I want to go to church anymore because I have some big doubts. Then told them I was having sex… and you know all of these things that would kind of break my mom heart.. I did it slowly. I also did not remove myself from them, and not everyone has the privilege too.

I just came from an environment where we chose to stick together despite the differences. I know some kids that I grew up with could never tell their parents they did not believe in Jesus. They would be kicked out. So, there is not always that freedom. I got really lucky - the shame was super high though. I was so scared to tell my parents about queer sh*t, god sh*t, having sex, or moving in with someone. Like all of things I was taught were bad. You know, they try. The biggest advice I have is to take care of yourself. Do what allows you to be free. To those who are in the closet pretending for their parents - Bro, your parents are going to die! Go live your life, safely, but go be free! I would rather just not have to lie. I would rather be so honest. That way you know the people around you want to be there.

GM: Absolutely. That is so beautiful, thank you. That really resonates and it is so true, at the end of the day we are only here for a certain amount of time. Why not be free and be you!

GM: What have been some of your biggest inspirations that have aided you in pursuing music and to help you keep going as a human being in general?

MB: Oh that's a fun one haha. What keeps me going as a human…I don’t know who said it but, the quote that says, “whatever keeps you from killing yourself today, is the reason for life” (Albert Camus). Literally one day at a time for me, haha! But, musically, it was seeing really good sh*t make it pretty far. Such as, Julian Baker, Phoebe Bridgers.. and that kind of stuff popping off. When Frank Ocean put out Blonde, when Dijon and Ryan Beatty taking those steps behind him and then you see Harry Styles go into rock! That is encouraging. Seeing those who have done it forever, and changing it. Like David Bazan, he still does small house tours, club tours… he’s kind of just stayed his course. I think guys like this and people like Kathleen Edwards, that send a message and are willing to make it work by touring and playing small shows.. That's what inspires me. I don't have to be big, I just want to play for someone who wants to hear it.

GM: Do you have a dream collaboration? If you could pick anyone in the world to make a track with who would it be?

MB: Probably Adrianne Lenker, I am just obsessed. Andy Shaw … those are the sounds I am chasing. Soft and tender. Adrianne has such a vibe on her. She is like a huge North Star of “can do it all”. I can rock, get quiet, make weird sh*t, and make beautiful country sh*t.

GM: How have you been able to stay grounded in this season of craziness as an artist?

MB: Well, simple sh*t. I am not drinking right now. I just feel way better when I don't drink. I feel really good going for long walks or runs. I feel good when I get to see my dogs, call my mom, and keep nice people around me. Get good sleep. Remember the comments are bullshit. Even the nice ones - they will go away one day.

GM: When was the transition between your stage name, ‘Nick Carpenter’, go to ‘Medium Build’?

MB: 2015/2016 probably. I just did not want to book a gig anymore as “guy with name”. I just wanted to hide. There are several versions I can hide behind. Now we have this ‘Nicky C’ character, - flamboyant, with the earrings, smiling goofy, & loud. Then there is Nick, who is walking his dog in silence, not engaging with anyone haha. Then there comes Medium build - the show, truly the passion, the writing, and the project. I used to think that was sociopathic to think about it like that, but I am learning a lot of artists I love have boundaries for themselves.

GM: Lastly, what tracks are you most excited to perform?

MB: HMMMM.. I am so excited by so many of them. I would say, ‘Cant Be Cool Forever’, I have done that solo a couple times and it has been pretty sick. I am really excited to play ‘Relief’ with the band. I want to f*cking groove. There is so much to grow into still. I am so excited to play these live. I am f*cking so stoked.

GM: Thank you Nick for being here & for talking about you amazing record, ‘Country’. Thank you for being who you are! Drive safe to Coachella!

MB: Thank you so much, I feel lucky to do this! I cannot wait to vibe to Tyler The Creator!